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Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
12:16 pm
I am about to be 250.00 dollars richer. But It goes to bills and Christmas gifts.

I will be buying teddy bears for WE CARE TEDDY BEARS for children spending christmas in the hospital at Wolfson's children hospital. It is something nice to do for them.

All my classes are finally over. I got pretty good grades, I wouldn't say they are the best but whatever.

I will be home for good this weekend. I am happy about that. I am tired of being in this shitty ass apartment. Although I will miss all my friends here.

Hung out last night with Rodriguez (Susan), Nicolette, Trey, Dave, Ashley, Nick, Matt, and some kid I forget his name lol. It was fun. Rodriguez and I were jammin out to some awesome tunes. She makes me crazy.

They are throwing a kegger here on friday night in my honor. lol. I wont be home saturday till late. So I hope no one is expecting me. hah.

(1 kiss | eskimo kisses)

Saturday, December 10th, 2005
7:50 pm - thanks angela, got a break from studying.
1) Was 2005 a good year for you?
yes, and no...

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Probably realizing what I want to do in life, figure out who I am, and knowing what I want.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
having someone very close to me tell me that we are not compatible anymore. Someone who knows that we are so much alike, so in love, telling me that we are too different.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?
The sad part is that I dont remember. I was probably with Bob though.

5) Who were you with?
ugh, good question.

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
Ringing in the New year with my best friend in the entire world

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?
Dorthea, and maybe a little Bob. lol

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?
I don't know, because I dont remember. I dont think i made one to be honest.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?
Yes. This year I will remember too. I have a few things in mind. Which I have already started doing.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?
Everyday I was with Bob, I fell in love again.

11) If yes, with who?
hello, the only person I ever talk about.

12) If yes, do they know?
i think so.

14) You regret it?
Not one bit

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
Yes, two people. They sucked.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yeah all my surfer buds up here in Jax. Beach. they are all so awesome. My friends from work. And a couple new people in Daytona, and I dont even live there.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?
Alsopp, Ryan, Trey, Ashley, Ben, John, Rachel, Bo, Doug, Kyle, Gregg, Matt, Chris, Maya, Shauna, Eric, Jaime, Julie, Vicky, Kim, Ines, Sonya, Nayla, Amanda, Sade, Marvin, Melvin, Josh, Paul, Grant, Michelle, Carla, Gary, and many more.

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?
I gonna have to say December, so far this month is looking great.

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
haha, no

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
Georgia and South Carolina, and maybe North Carolina this month. Not sure.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?
I didn't really lose him. Bob is still with me in my heart. All my friends that I rarely talk to. I miss them all, but the fact is...we all have different and separeate lives now.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
All my Creek friends. I miss bobby a lot. I will always miss Mr. Camp., and I miss my family in NC.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?
Haha, I have no idea.

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?
When I get where I'm going- Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?
Dude, I have no idea

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?
1- Sounds of the Underground

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?
Gee golly gosh, I wonder which one was my favorite?

28) did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
haha I dont remember. lol probably

29) did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?
I always do a lot of drugs. I'm crazy. j/k

30) How many people did you hurt this year?
Some, which I regret.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
Anything my mom and stepdad says is a lie. Bobby telling me were are not compatible.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
Probably, Although I dont really know.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
yeah, my mom. She can be a bitch. Although things are a lot better when I dont live with her.

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?
More than I made lol

37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
Probably realizing that I dont need bob. Realizing there is a lot more out there for me. Love is a big part of life, but not the only thing. Don't go chasing something that doesn't feel the same way about you. You can't make somebody love you.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
When I was in the ER, I forgot to tie my robe thingy, or whatever it is they make you wear. And when I got in and out of my wheelchair, everyone around caught a big glimpse of my hott ass. lol

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
1. Not moving to Jax over the summer. 2. Doing things differently with bob. 3. Not having sexual relations with a certain someone 4. Not being so uncomfortable with myself

40) What are your plans for 2006?
Move back to daytona, get an apartment with my best friend. Stay in touch with bobby and try to show him that things are different, teach my dog some manners. Start my education classes and do great in them. Find a better, higher paying job. Keep working out and running, maybe quit smoking.

(eskimo kisses)

Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
12:02 pm - A little late, but it's not my fault
A- Age you lost your virginity?
16, to the love of my life

July 20

C- Car of your dreams?
A muscle car, I love old cars

D- Dads name?

E- Easiest person to make you laugh?

F- Food you eat most?
subs, definitely

G- Any encounter with ghosts
Fuck that shit

H- Hungry?
Hell yeah, I've been poor for a week now, and the groceries were gone a month ago, so fuck yes, I"M STARVING.

I- Interesting fact people don't know about you?
It's a secret

J- Jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?

K- Kissing with eyes open or closed?
I like to take a peef every now and then, it's cute

L- Last time you did something "bad"?
Last night, but that's a secret too.

M- Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute?
The first time bob told me he loved me.

N- Nicknames?
Tickle, Nickelback, Nickle Tickle, Rasberry, Knee (Long Story)

O- Outgoing or not?
Pretty shy at first, unless I am in one of those I dont give a shit moods, after you get to know, Oh God You had better watch out.

P- Person you last talked to on the phone?

Q- Quote that you feel represents you right now?
I have no idea.

R- What are you allergic to?
Cats, dust, my mom

S- Song you last sang out loud?
Joss Stone, gotta love her.

T- Time you woke up?
11:55 pm

U- U like to sing soft or loud?
Both, simultaneously...haha

V- Vegetable you hate most?
brussell sprouts and radishes

W- What are you most afraid of?
never falling in love again, and working at ross for the rest of my life.

X- X- rated current love life?
Mine's looking pretty good!!

Y- Yellowcard or Green Day?
Greenday, all the way.

Z- Zodiac sign
Cancer...I hope that doesn't mean anything!

**I'm a fool**

(1 kiss | eskimo kisses)

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2005
9:17 am
Well, I wasn't going to be home till later on tonight, but since I lost my voice, i can't exactly go to work. Therefore, I am going to clean up around here a little bit and then head home. Cody and I are going to enjoy our freezing ride home, because gas is too expensive to run the heat. bah.

I'm tired. My dogs are irritating me but there is nothing I cand o about it, because I can't yell.

I was going to take some of my shit home for thanksgiving so i wouldn't have to make two trips when I move out. BUT I still dont know if the girl is moving up. So it would be foolish to move stuff back and then not move out. Duh!

Alright I am going to go clean my room.


(eskimo kisses)

Sunday, November 20th, 2005
8:15 am
Okay, so what went from a 90% chance of moving back, is now a 50% chance. I thought 90% was pretty good? Anyway, the girl moving into my room is having some technical difficulties with classes transferring. So if her classes she is going to take up here dont transfer then she is not coming up and I am screwed as well. So here we go again with all the miserable fucked up shit that happens in my life.

I am so sick that I could just die right now. I lost my voice yesterday, and it is slowly coming back. But not really. I came home 4 hours early from work because I couldnt talk to the customers, and if you dont say hi to them you get in trouble.

And off to work I go again today. But I am in the stock room so I dont have to talk to anyone.

Strangly happy, unusually sad

(1 kiss | eskimo kisses)

Sunday, November 6th, 2005
9:37 am - Never know what to think
I have had this great mindset for the past few weeks that seems to be working out for me. And I feel better about myself.

Work sux but we had nice benefits this weekend. I proceeded to spend 180 dollars on christmas gifts this weekend during our 40% off for employees only. I bought for 5 people and some stuff for myself. I enjoyed it tremendously.

I have to 1030-800 today. He always sticks me with the open to close on sundays and I fucking hate it. It's bullshit, everyone that works there calls it "my shift". aghhh, I'm tired of working at Ross. But hopefully I will be moving soon and can get away.

I'm doing pretty good in school...except for math, I never find time to do the 200 or so homework problems the teacher gives us. Oh well I still have a C, and that's passing.

Alright, off to work I go. I pretty sure I won't be missed much, but who cares...ta ta.

(eskimo kisses)

Sunday, October 30th, 2005
11:56 am
i'm alive...that's it.

(eskimo kisses)

Monday, October 17th, 2005
12:43 pm - YOU gotta LOVE surfer parties...
Friday night was quite interesting. Came home from work to write a paper, and found out I wasnt going to be getting anything done. The people were lined up around the keg. Inside and outside. It was just crazy. I wish Apey could have come, but next time for sure. Bri and I jammed out to some kickass music, and oh how everyone thought I was crazy....I love it.

Saturday night was more relaxing. We went out to Mexican. bri got sick, and I enjoyed my food. Wish i would have gotten the fajitas though. came home and slept. We were all so tired from the night before.

Last night I came home to a cooked meal. Chicken, rice, and vegetables. It was good. Real good.

Today I have to work at 5:30. I dont want to...but I have to. This shit sux. I kinda cant wait to move back so I dont have to work so much anymore.

I just got a card in the mail from dorthea. She is my bestest friend in the entire world. She may have a lifestyle I dont really enjoy 24/7, but she has always been there for me. I love her.

(eskimo kisses)

Sunday, October 9th, 2005
9:41 pm
Something strangly new is happening in my life. I like it, I am confused by it, and I'm not sure if it is the best thing for me, but I am gonna let things go and see how it is. I am not going to say anything other than that about it.

I may be getting a new job. Or maybe just a second job. I have a reference of someone who works at this new place, and I can get paid $10-$18 an hour for cashier. How easy is that? We'll see.

Movie nights are my love. I want to have a huge DVD collection when I get the chance...and the money.

Alright Im off....Mint Chocolate chip ice cream is calling ym name....mmmmmmm my FAV!!

(eskimo kisses)

Thursday, September 29th, 2005
3:38 pm - ER...I'm just used to watching the show.
I was in the emergency room yesterday with splitting pain in my back and abdominal region. At first they thought I had a kidney infection or a kidney stone because there is blood in my urine. But after the xray's they found out I have a cyst on my right ovary which may or may not be cancerous. It is pulsating which is cuasing the nausea and vomiting. I also have a urinary tract infection. Which is what they concluded from the hematura.

I was scared to death. I woke up yesterday and could not move. It hurt so bad. and after puking bright green foam for two hours i decided I need to go to the emergency room. So I called my mom who called a family friend to come pick me up and get me. they put an IV in me and gave a bunch of really good drugs...lol. But no they helped so much. Then they sent me home with 4 different medications. And i have to visit my gyno on monday to see how bad it really is. till then....I have two days of rest and two working days.

it hurts so bad. i really though I was dying. It was the worst pain I have ever been in.

(2 kisses | eskimo kisses)

3:19 pm - oh the randomness....20 things
1. I'm allergic to cats.

2. I love dogs, and I am not allergic to them.

3. I love how you can be so connected to a person, but I hate the fact that you are so far apart.

4. I have a huge fear of never being able to fully love again. My heart still belongs to one person, even though I don't "need" him anymore.

5. My true friends will always know I love them. Cait and brandy are my two of my most favortie people in the world. College fucked up everything. I wish i had my girls to hangout with every night.

6. My sister...I would do anything for her. She's an amazing person. She deserves no less than amazing either.

7. My father is my strength. With out him in my life now. I would have nothing. He keeps me on my path when I tend to stray off it.

8. Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi is my favorite non-alcoholic drink. Strawberry daquiri's are my favorite alcoholic drink.

9. My wardrobe changes from day to day. I have a unique, strange style.

10. My appearance has changed a lot since highchool. I feel different too.

11. Pictures, my digi, scrapbooking, collaging is my soul. I love being or trying to be creative.

12. I'm more mature than most people my age. I have more responsibilties than most people my age. Most of that is from my upbringing. So I hate when people tell me to grow up.

13. My favorite candy is Nips-chocolate parfait. They are amazing.

14. I miss late night taco bell runs with Cait, and ore game meals with brandy.

15. If I had the chance to do it all over I would. I would not however change EVERYTHING. Just certain things.

16. I miss bobby more than anything. He has my heart and soul.

17. I want to start a massive DVD collection. But money is too tight around here to do so. I love movies.

18. I never completely trust anyone. Trust is one of my biggest issues with people.

19. My mom and I don't get along. It is getting a lot better lately that we haven't been down eachothers throats. But we still have our moments. I hate the way i was brought up and how I was treated, but I know that it only made me stronger and become the person I am today.

20. When someone asks me a question, and I respond with "I don't know," I either a) have no idea or b) know what your talking about but have no idea what to say in fear of sounding stupid.

it took me 7 minutes to write this so I tag:
1. brandy
2. ashley
4. jessie
6. lander
7. angela

(1 kiss | eskimo kisses)

3:19 pm - Oh, It got me too.
If you read this, even if we do not speak often, comment with one memory of me.
It can be anything you want, good or bad.
Just as long as it happened.
Then post this on your livejournal to see what other people remember about you..

(4 kisses | eskimo kisses)

Sunday, September 25th, 2005
9:04 pm - My life...the emotional roller coaster
Well things seemed to be looking up for me... I am being moved to department supervisor at my job, I met a guy, and I have some friends tohang out with. Well my friend is moving, the new guy is not so top notch, and I am not sure if I will be moved soon or not.

My friend is 19, pregnant, and married to a navy man. He is being reassigned to virginia beach. So she is moving. I will miss her dearly.

The guy, or shoudl I say boy, because he is more immature than I am, is not going so well. He irritates me. Tells me to respect my elders like he is my father or something. He is only 23. Give me a break. I am still more mature then you are. Heck you still live at home with mommy and daddy. I DON'T. Now dont get me wrong he is very nice...Opens doors, takes me out, pays for everything, kisses my shoulders and forehead (ya know the little things). But he also jokingly makes fun of me or puts me down, and then when he realizes I dont like it, says he is "just kidding". AGH, what to do? Why can't the one I really want just grow up?

I got asked to move to full time today, so maybe the department supervisor thing will come next. Hopefully it will work out for me. I need more money and more hours. Yes, I do. 36 hours a week is not enough.

I wish I had cable, so I could fill my mind with nonsense other than my own.

(2 kisses | eskimo kisses)

Friday, September 23rd, 2005
1:56 pm
I finally cleaned my apartment today...it was a disaster area. Seriously, you could not see one of our couches or and of the dining room table. It was horrible. But it is clean now so it makes me very happy. My allergies were kickin in this morning, that is why i finally cleaned.

I have to work at 5:30. God knows i dont want to go. But I need the money. I feel bad that Doug pays for everything. But if you still live at home and make more money than me....it should be alright. right?

I've been on the internet for too long today....so it's time to get off now. bye!

(eskimo kisses)

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
11:18 am
Thiings are loooking up...finally. And oh how glorious it feels!

(eskimo kisses)

Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
5:32 pm - boy situation...
Listen up..I'm only gonna say this one because with my luck once I say something it will all go down hill.

I met a guy, his name is Doug. We have been hanging out a lot lately and I really like hima nd he calls me everyday just to say hi!! Unlike some men. I know it may be just beacuse the first 6 months hasn't past yet but still I really enjoy his presence. we will see what happens.

he is a personal trainer at a gym here in town so yes he is good looking lol. He's 22 and loves sports...like me! We have hung out everyday since I met him. I love it. But then again i know it could hurt the relationship in the long run soooo... I dont knwow hat to do.

Anyway, dinner and a movie tonight. Then I won't see him tomorrow and his birthday is thursday so we are def. hanging out. I'm nervously excited to see how all thsi works out.

ta ta <33

(1 kiss | eskimo kisses)

Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
1:27 pm
Cody is 12 lbs. now. He is my big little man. He has kennel cough from going to the dog park too much I think. The dog park is so awesome. And Cody and I have tons of fun together.

Now that I only have one job and school i have a lot more time to myself. I get the full amount of sleep at night and feel energized again.

I just got back from vacationing in South Carolina. We were at a private island called Seabrook Island. It was pretty, but it wasn't amazing. My aunt Sheri got married to some guy she has only known for 9 months. But hey whatever makes you happy. And she seemed happy. So I am happy for her. Even though out of all my aunts/uncles I like her the least. She has always been a little priss. And you know how I can't stand people like that lol.

Boy situation is still undecided. I think i am just going to stay single for now, heck maybe even for the rest of my life. That what it seems like. Nothing has even come close to satisfying me. And I don't think I'm that picky.

work is pretty good. They are moving me to department supervisor here soon and I will get a raise and benefits.

School is challenging. It seems like I took all the hard classes this semester. But I will get through it because I am strong willed.

Alright, well off to get ready for work, ta ta.

(eskimo kisses)

1:26 pm

Sweet pics I took in SC
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Night view on the beach
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
View outside of our villa

(eskimo kisses)

Friday, September 2nd, 2005
11:50 pm - I've finally just let go.
A new thing is happening in my life right now. I dont know how to explain it other than financial problems of my sibling. She got in a car accident and now cannot afford to pay bills. So with that being said, I MAY be moving back to daytona. Lord save me. This time though, I dont want to move. Daytona is filled with bob feelings and mom hatred feelings. i dont wanna go back to those. They both make me unusually happy, but furious at the same time.

Ummm....SC in 6 days! Horseback riding ont the beach.

2 very nice/hott guys to choose from. What does one do?

Ta ta. Off to bed.


(1 kiss | eskimo kisses)

Sunday, August 28th, 2005
9:58 pm - John sang a song...
Bri's Boyfriend John came up this weekend. I love it when he is here cuz we are always out doing stuff but then I dont' cuz I feel like the third wheel and it is kinda depressing. But anyway, my weekend was pretty good and met a few new guys. It was sweet.

To all you boys out there that say you dont want a girlfriend and blah blah blah. Give it a couple months of partying, getting wasted, and hooking up with random girls before you realize you want that one special person in your life back or just want some kind of commitment. Cuz after all, those girls are whore's anyways. You'll be wishing you never broke her heart.

John sang me a song about bob today. It was great. And on the topic of bob. Bri and John went to daytona friday, and right before they were on their way home they stopped at 7-11 and guess who they saw, yeah that's right bob. And what was he doing? Puking out of the back seat of his own car. yes, he let someone drive his car, while he was intoxicated in the backseat and couldn't even move. They said he puked all over his car too. And rightin front of a cop. Stupid. But anyway, glad to see he is getting himself straightened out and moving up in the world. I don't pity him at all. He needs to grow up. And his friends dont help out much either. They are all the same way. After all, I dont need someone like that anyway. Love him, but he has a lot of growing up to do.

Ryan is going to teach me how to surf. Then for christmas I am going to ask for a board. I am stoked to learn. It look slike so much fun and a good way to get exercise. And in a couple of weeks I am getting a skim board. yeah that's right, you wish you were me! lol j/k.

(eskimo kisses)

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